10 11 REASONS WHY PAKISTAN IS SO INTERESTING
1. ON PROSTITUTION
I used to live in a place called Zamzama, it’s a high-end commercial area. There are designer shops all around, expensive restaurants, flashy cars and what not. It has a reputation for being very high-end, so I was pretty surprised when I noticed prostitutes as early as 7pm, dressed like this.
If you followed the link I’m just playing. This is how they look…
I think what these prostitutes are doing in Pakistan needs to be replicated in all states, bringing decency to the profession and making it acceptable.
So how do you tell if they are prostitutes? They usually walk in pairs, one dressed in burqa and the other in regular clothes, and when you stop your car or slow down, they will come to you.
In other instances, they will call out as you walk past ‘ Up and Rising? ‘ 😀 hahahaha
2. ON SEXUALITY
There are so many she-males on the streets, that you get used to them. They beg during the day, and at night some of them prostitute themselves…which tells you a lot about the number of gay people there are living here.
3. ON PAKISTANI GIRLS
I. There is no suspicion greater than that of a Pakistani girl. My rule is don’t speak until you are spoken to, and even then, proceed with caution lest someone thinks you are a budding rapist.
II. For some reason, these girls have some huge feet, HUGE!!
4. ON DRUGS AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE
In my time here, I have encountered hashish around every other corner. Hashish is like weed, but stinks a whole lot more, and is treated with some chemicals (citation needed). It’s a really common habit to smoke-up, so every other person does it.
But I have also seen people shoot up horse tranquilizer and others high on ecstasy…yes horse tranquilizer…do you know how strong a horse is, and you want to try the stuff that can put it down?!
There is also some substance that is completely legal in the UAE (even saw people using it at the airport). I forget its name, but it comes in a tiny little bottle or cylinder, and you smoke it in a tiny little tiny pipe. Apparently it slows down everything for a few seconds, including your heart…crazy Arabs.
5. ON WEATHER
I left all my warm clothes in Nairobi, December came and I froze to death. Winter is as cold as Nairobi in July. Summer though, is going to get to 45 degrees, not looking forward to that.
6. ON AKON
I can safely conclude that Akon is the most famous black man in Pakistan. That’s probably because he did this song, and its AKON so off course it was a collaboration.
Oh, and now that there is a shortage of black foreigners in Pakistan, excited Pakistanis say to us, especially my Ugandan pal because he is pretty dark ‘You look like AKON…’ Yesterday we were both with a couple of friends at a concert, and ended up taking maybe 20 photos with complete strangers who kept interrupting our conversation on how to take over the workd to ask us to pose with them.
7. ON THE MUSLIM SHOWER
I tried to use this once, in those laterines that use water…the ones that in home science were called Indian laterines. water-latrines. I had to take off my pants, cause really, I didn’t know what else to do, and I was trying to embrace the culture. I spent half an hour in the toilet, HALF AN HOUR!
I have since been converted to using these things, cause seriously, your ass will be so much cleaner. TMI possibly, I know.
8. ON ETTIQUETTE
I. If there is 1 seat, and both you and a Pakistani are standing, let him sit. Expect him to refuse your invitation and ask you to sit instead. So then, engage him in a rather forceful argument, and even try push him into the chair. The more forceful your politeness, the better. Eventually, you will both remain standing until someone brings a chair.
II. If someone offers to pay for something you want to pay for, act offended and even insult them.
III. Never EVER forget to shake hands. I met a couple of my friend’s pals one morning on our way to fish.
( I caught one fish after an hour, everyone else caught 4 and over…woiye )
Anyway, so one of the guys was on his phone when we got there, so naturally, I didn’t say hi. He sulked at me the whole morning; I should have said hi even if he was on the phone…which is why when you call someone; you will hear them stop to talk to other people as you are put on hold.
9. ON ACCENTS
These guys, in another life must have been Kenyan. The number of accents I have heard here. From British, to American to sijui Anglosaxophonepiano. Even though I suspect I am joining the fray, at least I can claim it’s only because I need to be understood; these brand of Pakistanis, I don’t know what they are doing, I just don’t gerrit. 😀
10. ON ISLAM
An interesting story in Islam, told very simply because I can’t remember the details.
Once upon a time in history, the Muslims were being persecuted; and one of their prophets/ Allah told them to go to Africa- He told them that they would find a black Christian king, and that he would save them. So they did as they were told, and when they found the black king, they explained their faith and their situation to him. The king listened to them, and when they were done, he drew a line in the sand with his finger. He then declared that the difference between Islam and Christianity was as thin as that line and with that granted them refuge from their persecutors.
Still on the black king, it has been foretold that this will happen again, i.e. that Muslims will be persecuted, and they will be saved again by a black king…now that this guy is dead, maybe this is the king to watch…if so, pole sana.
*DISCLAIMER, ISLAM LIKE CHRISTIANITY HAS A LOT OF VARYING BELIEFS, IF NOT MORE, SO DON’T TAKE THIS AS THE WORD.
11. ON MASSAGES
Late at night, you might hear a guy on the street with these metal clangers, jingling them so that you know he is there. Apparently, he is a traditional massage-dude, so you can call him into your house or go out on the street for him to massage you.
You also see them on street corners at night, sitting at the traffic signals with litte bottles of massage oil, their trademark sign. Why this activity is done mostly at night, I will never understand..but I hear some touch some nerve at the back of your neck then you black out and they rob you CLEAN. LOL!!